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How fortunate, how extremely fortunate are those young girls whose family circumstances are such as to make it possible for them to remain under their parents’ roof until they are married, with the exception of the comparatively short time they spend at school. However, it is but seldom that they have this good fortune now. Times are changed. Young women engage much more than formerly in business taking them away from home. It is now true of them as well as of members of the sterner sex: Man must plunge into the strenuous life; man must go forth to his daily work and confront the dangers of the world. If this should be the case with you, if you must go forth and encounter the dangers of the world, lay to heart and follow, I pray you, for God’s sake, and for the sake of your own soul, the fatherly counsels which, with the kindest of intentions, I offer for your guidance.
First of all, however, be sure it is really necessary for you to leave home and to go amongst strangers, where life will be fraught with dangers for you. So many girls allow themselves to be deceived in this respect, either by their own heart or by the persuasions of other persons. There are girls who are crazy for amusements, or seem animated by a spirit of evil. They soon begin to feel themselves hampered and restrained; their own people do not allow them liberty enough; the simple pleasures to be enjoyed at home in a country town or village no longer satisfy them. However comfortably they may be situated, though they have a desirable occupation, liberal allowances and ample recreation, it all counts for nothing in their opinion.
They persuade themselves and the members of their family that life at home is not worthy of the name; that there is nothing to be learned and nothing to be earned; that, on the contrary, in large cities like New York, London, or Paris, life is really worth living, and one can literally coin money. “Besides, one can be pious in cities as well as in villages; look at our neighbor’s daughter, what nice letters she writes home, and what sums of money she sends from time to time.” Do you think that when girls leave home in such a spirit as this they are acting in conformity to the will of God, and can hope for His blessing? No, they are following, more or less completely, the impulse of their own perverse heart.
Others are deceived by the alluring representations of old school-fellows, or of friends, who write to them somewhat as follows: “You cannot imagine how pleasant life is here! Almost every Sunday there is something going on: an entertainment, an excursion, a concert, a play, or a dance. Certainly one is sometimes obliged to work very hard, but then there is plenty of free time, and there is nearly always something to amuse one, even when one is at work. Then again there are so many well-dressed, well-mannered boys and fashionable young men, who pay court to one, and are very lavish in spending their money. It is quite different in villages or small towns among rough country-bred lads. Do come here; I know of a most desirable place which would exactly suit you. And as to going to church and saying your prayers, you may make your mind easy; there is a Catholic church very near, with several priests.”
It is not difficult to guess how a girl will go on, who is allured by highly colored pictures such as these! In the first place, it is doubtful whether she will be really happy. Therefore take care not to make up your mind too quickly to leave home and to go forth into the wide, wide world, to seek in cities for more remunerative occupation.
But let us suppose for a moment that you really are obliged to leave home—what then? Then you must exercise the very greatest caution in taking a situation. You must not jump at the first place which offers itself through an advertisement in a newspaper. It is very sad to see how careless and thoughtless many girls are in this respect, and sometimes their parents are even more foolish. They grope about in the dark, inquire what wages are offered, and the higher these are, so much the better they consider the situation to be. They trouble themselves very little, or perhaps not at all, about innocence and morality, about faith and religion. Hence it comes to pass that young persons such as these too often wreck both their temporal and eternal happiness, having lost, when they return home at a subsequent period, both their virtue and their reputation. It is necessary to warn you that there are, especially in large cities, houses of ill-repute, into which many a young unsuspicious, good-looking girl is decoyed by all manner of specious promises. Once there, she is detained by craft, or even by force, and she escapes only with loss of spiritual and bodily health.
Therefore, if ever you have to seek for a situation away from home, make the most thorough investigations before pledging yourself to anything. Do not enter upon a permanent engagement on the strength of newspaper advertisements. Find out whether you will be allowed to attend divine service, and learn the reputation the family bears in regard to religion and morals.
Request your spiritual director to make all needful inquiries of the priests of the place to which you think of going. You will never repent doing this; while, on the other hand, your repentance may come too late if you are careless enough to omit the necessary precautions.
Especially must extreme prudence be exercised when there is question of taking a situation abroad. Some few years back a letter appeared in a newspaper describing the perilous position in which a young woman had found herself through neglecting to make due inquiries. By means of brilliant promises, she was induced to take a situation at Nice. Scarcely had she reached her destination, when she found herself in a house of the worst possible description. For a fortnight she held out against craft and flattery, hunger, menaces, and all the various means which were employed in order to lure her to her destruction. At length a gentleman made his appearance, and literally bought her from the owners of the house, intending that she should sail in his company for Algiers on the morrow. Fortunately she got wind of the villainous design, and effected her escape by leaping from a window under cover of night. This instance is but one out of a hundred which might be adduced. Therefore be cautious, exceedingly cautious, before taking a situation abroad.
In conclusion, I must touch upon a weak side of life in the present day. Very many girls are more or less compelled to work in factories. This fact is the source of many evils. For life in a factory is fraught with numerous and grievous perils for both body and soul, in the case of young women more especially. It frequently occurs that girls who have just left school lose their virtue through working in a factory, or through going to and from their daily toil. There are—thank God—many also who remain virtuous, but they form, I fear, a minority. Thus we see that a life so full of danger should be chosen only from urgent necessity.
Work and pray; that alone is the way
To gain God’s blessing day by day.
The Narcissus—Truthfulness.