❀ ❀ ❀
Women are often sadly offended when it is said of them that they are very fond of talking. But they have no reason for being so sensitive in this respect. A glib tongue, which characterizes women to a greater extent than men, is a natural gift, which God has graciously seen fit to bestow upon the daughters of Eve. This fluency of speech has its good and agreeable side. It is evident that the Creator desired to place, as it were, a weapon of defense in the hands of the weaker sex. Their readiness of speech enables women to keep conversation going, and thus to brighten, to cheer, and to enhance the family circle, and this cannot but be a real, practical benefit.
But the gift of speech, like every other gift of God, can be abused and put to an evil use: too often this is the case. Hence precautions must be taken to prevent such profanation, such misuse; we must be watchful and take care lest the little school-girl should already deserve to be called a chatterbox and later on develop an evil, backbiting tongue. My dear child, I by no means wish to condemn you to silence, but I do wish most earnestly to exhort you to govern your tongue. You already know that the tongue is a small, but dangerous member.
First of all I must once more speak of the invaluable gift of speech, a most precious gift of God to man. The gift of speech places an immeasurable distance between man and the lower animals. It is not exactly because they lack the organs of speech that they have not power to speak, but because they do not possess a soul endowed with reason and capable of using these organs. We may employ the comparison of a musical instrument—let us say a guitar. It may have the necessary strings, it may even be tuned aright, yet will it either remain mute, or emit discordant notes, unless a skillful hand touches the strings.
How deeply grateful ought we to be to God for this precious gift of speech, which is the key to so many benefits and pleasures!
Yet instead of the gratitude which is His due, how often is God repaid for His gift with the blackest ingratitude! How frequently and how shamefully is this gift misused! It is misused for purposes of lying, dissimulation, hypocrisy, flattery, detraction, calumny, uncharitable conversation of every kind. It causes enmity and hatred, strife and contention. A single word from a tongue under the influence of a wicked heart may bring about the most grievous misfortunes! The diabolical work of evil tongues will often seriously disturb, if not totally destroy, union in families, affection between married couples, concord among relations and friends, peace in communities.
Therefore is the tongue rightly described as a small, but dangerous member. Thus did St. James term it when he wrote to the faithful: “The tongue is indeed a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold how small a fire kindleth a great wood. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity.” These are hard words, but we find them in Holy Scripture; they cannot, therefore, be exaggerated. And in our daily experience we find only too many instances to prove that such expressions are neither unfounded nor extreme.
Nor can we wonder that even in the Old Testament the Holy Spirit so strictly enjoins upon men the government of the tongue, prudence in speech, the observance of silence. Solomon says in the book of Proverbs: “In the multitude of words there shall not want sin, but he that refraineth his lips is most wise.” And again: “He that keepeth his mouth, and his tongue, keepeth his soul from distress.”
St. James also says: “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man.” In another place he exhorts us thus: “Let every man be swift to hear, but slow to speak, and slow to anger.” He wishes to direct the attention of all who desire to lead a pious life to the first and most essential condition of true piety in the following words: “If any man think himself to be religious, not bridling his tongue, but deceiving his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.”
And mark well, my dear child, the great disadvantages which much talking brings in its train. A young girl who, when in the company of others, oversteps the limits which modesty prescribes, and chatters, chatters, scarcely allowing those present to put in a word, soon becomes a bore; even more tiresome still than another girl who can barely be induced to speak at all. A girl who is too talkative will not easily gain the confidence of her friends and fellow men, because they are perfectly aware that it would not be safe to trust her with any- thing of importance.
A girl who is overfond of talking often disturbs her own peace of mind; her heedless words frequently cause her to feel discontented both with herself and with others. And how much valuable time is lost through this never-ending gossip, time which ought to be spent in work or else in prayer! And amid all this constant chatter and distraction how can the improvement of the heart, and the cultivation of the mind, be duly considered!
If the words of Our lord are true, and true they must be, since He uttered them: “I say to you, that every idle word that men shall speak they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment,” what shall be the fate of those who speak so many words which are not only idle, but sinful and uncharitable?
Consequently you would do well to follow the advice which a prudent director gave to a certain young man. The latter had asked permission to wear an instrument of penance round his waist in order to mortify himself. The experienced priest made the sign of the cross upon his mouth, and said: “My friend, the best instrument of penance for you is to take care that no reprehensible word may pass the threshold of your lips.” Practice yourself now and then in keeping silence; check an immoderate love of talking; check it sometimes in regard to conversation which is merely indifferent, not actually sinful; in order that by so doing you may acquire greater mastery over your tongue, where weighty matters are concerned.
You say you have two ears and one mouth,
There surely is no cause to complain.
That you may hear much and little may say,
You are given one mouth and ears twain.
A Wreath of Lilies
Roses of youth with years fade away,
Bright eyes grow dim, bright locks grow gray;
But there’s a flower that will not fade,
A gentle flower, that loves the shade—
The graceful lily, pure and sweet,
Of innocence an emblem meet;
This be thy choice in youth’s bright day:
Its charms will never pass away!
The Lily in Untarnished Splendor.